The Rubble Or Our Sins
by anthfan
Summary: Post 2x23 finale fic. On the return trip from Lian Yu, Felicity and Oliver deal with some things that have been left unsaid.


**A/N: Post 2x23 finale story. Hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think!**

She didn't remember on her own. A massive battle, coupled with a head injury, Oliver's world rocking words she was still trying to process, and flying halfway around the world had seriously messed up any sense of time. They were all running on a mixture of adrenaline, caffeine, and pure necessity.

What jogged her memory was a simple calendar reminder that popped up as soon as they'd landed and her phone was once again connected. 'Oliver's Birthday' the alert had said and she'd stopped in the middle of the Shanghai airport to stare in confusion, Digg and Oliver both moving past her before they realized she wasn't with them.

"Felicity, everything okay?" Oliver asked, brow knitted in concern when she looked up to see him right there, the mass of people moving around them as she blocked the way.

"Yeah, fine, sorry. Just zoned out for a second. Jet lag or...battle lag...if that's a thing," she said with a forced smile as she turned her phone off and tucked it back into her pocket.

He didn't say anything in response, just fell into step beside her as she started moving again to catch up with Digg.

The other man gave her a significant look which she ignored and started studying the directional signs, "You'd think we could have flown straight into the private airfield ARGUS is using,"

Digg sighed and slipped the bag off her arm she'd just hitched up again for the fourth time, her shoulder stinging in protest. As she threw him a grateful glance he just shrugged, "Rules are different here, and Waller doesn't like a lot of visitors,"

Once they'd cleared customs they quickly found their driver and she found herself in the familiar circumstance of sitting in the backseat of a luxury car with Oliver at her side.

As they made their way slowly through the busy city she found herself staring out the window, which was why she didn't hear Oliver call her name. It wasn't until his hand covered hers and gave it a small tug that she jolted back to the present.

"Sorry! What did you say?"

He was giving her that concerned look again mixed with enough determination to let her know he wasn't going to take no for an answer this time.

"I asked what was bothering you,"

She could see it then, the apprehension and the thread of fear that what had happened in the mansion was going to tear them apart regardless of what they'd said on the beach.

Swallowing hard she looked at her phone and then back up at him, trying to ignore how his hand had pulled away from hers. "It's um...it's your birthday, Oliver…"

He just stared at her like he hadn't heard what she said and she rushed to fill the silence, "I forgot...worst executive assistant ever huh? Or former I guess I should say...good thing I had it programmed into my calendar. That's what...I got the alert when we landed, since it's already the sixteenth here, what with all the time zones and…"

She watched as his face went white, the cuts and bruises standing out starkly as everything fell into place.

Because it wasn't just his birthday it was also a year since the Undertaking, a year since Tommy had died.

Both his hands came up to wipe over his face, fingers spreading wide to rub across his temples as he processed what he'd just heard.

She didn't say a word, just waited patiently, wishing she could take away the turmoil she knew he was experiencing.

When he lifted his head she gave him a tremulous smile, heartened to see the color back in his face and without the desolated look in his eyes she half expected.

Blowing out a long breath he sat back in the seat, letting his head fall back, "He'd be…"

Her heart flipped at his quiet words, "He'd be proud of you, Oliver," her throat was quickly becoming thick with tears and she had to swallow more than once to clear it, "You...you did what you set out to do. You honored his memory."

He was still for a long moment before he shook his head once, "I still…"

"In the end you kept your word, Oliver. You could have killed Slade but you didn't. You found another way. _We_ found another way."

"It could have all gone to hell though...there were too many variables, too many chances...you could have-"

She could see him start to drown as everything he hadn't been able to think about before suddenly came crashing down on him all at once.

"I knew what I was doing,"

"Did you?" he asked sharply, head snapping to the side to look at her and she felt her breath catch at the intensity in his eyes.

"Yes," she said as evenly as possible even though her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest, "Yes, I was willing to take the risk Oliver, and so were you,"

There was a flash of pain in his expression, pain and loss, as she watched the countless ways she could have died by Slade's hand cycle through his mind.

"It wasn't worth it," he ground out,

"Yes it was!" she said fiercely, unwilling to let him doubt what they'd done, the trust they'd had in each other, the surety she'd had to have in his abilities, and the soul touching knowledge that he would never have let anything happen to her. "Yes it was! I stopped Deathstroke and you stopped Slade. And if we hadn't done that Waller would have leveled the city! It will always be worth it because this is what we do!"

She couldn't believe they were doing this now, in the back of a Mercedes with Digg in the front seat, listening but not saying a word. But she was not going to let Oliver slip backwards.

His breaths were shallow and quick and when he dropped his eyes she felt a surge of worry go through her until he looked up again and it was her turn to lose all thought. He was looking at her again like he had at the mansion, when he'd said I love you and then begged her with his eyes to understand. She had. She'd understood it all. Not only his plan to take out Slade but that what he was saying was true.

"I would have never let anything happen to you,"

"I know that," she answered immediately, "I wouldn't have agreed to your crazy plan if I didn't,"

"I can't lose you,"

Once again her heart stopped due to the simple beauty of his words and everything he wasn't saying.

"You won't,"

His eyes shuttered, and when he opened them he'd lost the half crazed look. Instead she saw an understanding, one she thought they'd come to on the beach but now realized it had been too quick and too soon.

They had a mission, a purpose, and it depended on the two of them as a team first. As partners. The words he said still swirled between them, and they'd be forever in the background, able to be ignored but not forgotten.

But as they both reached across the expanse between them at the same time, hands joining she saw the promise of some day reflected in his gaze.

"Tommy would be proud of what you've done, of the hero you've become," she almost whispered, holding on to him just a little bit tighter,

"I hope so,"

"I know so,"

The rest of the ride was quiet and she fell asleep, waking with a gasp as a door was slammed shut. Oliver's hand fell to her forearm, not letting go until she'd pushed loose hair from her face and told him she was fine.

Then they had another brutally long flight even if it was in one of ARGUS's nicer planes. She accepted a seat in the back that fully folded out and was asleep again before they'd hit cruising altitude.

Somehow she still felt exhausted when they touched down an hour outside Starling City. A car was waiting for them to take but Digg stopped them before they got to it.

He tossed the keys to Oliver who caught them easily, "I'm going to stay a few days here with Lyla, we've got some things to talk about."

Oliver just nodded silently as Digg handed their bags over, "You've got GPS on that thing, right?" he nodded to her phone, "Know how to get yourselves back to Starling alright?" he said to her with a grin that she returned before lifting on her toes to kiss his cheek,

"I think I can get us back in one piece," she assured him, squeezing his arm as she stepped back,

She watched as he and Oliver shook hands and then climbed in the passenger seat. A bubble of apprehension appeared in her chest at the thought of finally heading home, not knowing what really awaited them.

Oliver's exhaustion was apparent when he slid behind the wheel and once they were off base she spotted a coffee shop and asked him to pull in. He did so reluctantly, but did head towards the men's room she noted with a wry smile while she placed the order.

"I got you the blueberry with the crumbly topping. I know it's not a cupcake, and it's not icing but...it's pretty close. If you squint." she said quickly to cover her nervousness when he joined her at the table.

He stared at the muffin like it was a live grenade for a second before looking at her in surprise, "You got me…"

"It's your birthday. And I know you don't feel like celebrating but...it's still your birthday. No harm in recognizing one more trip around the sun is there, especially with…" she'd felt hot tears pricking her eyes as she was struck with the thought of how easily he could have died in the past year alone, "Anyways," she pushed on, pulling out her phone and making a few taps, "No candles either, but you're in luck because there's an app for that," she turned the screen around and showed him the flickering image of a virtual birthday candle.

Unable to hide her grin she felt it crack her face as she moved the phone to hover behind the muffin, leaning forward to see if it gave the appearance of being an actual candle. Shifting her eyes towards him she saw him staring at her with a soft expression that made her cheeks go pink. "Okay, go ahead, and blow it out and don't forget to make a wish,"

He just cocked an eyebrow and looked at her like she'd lost her mind,

"No, really, it uses the mechanics of the speakers to detect an increase in airflow so it does actually know if you're blow…"

"Felicity...you don't really expect me to blow on your phone, do you?"

"Of course I do!" she replied,

He hesitated and leaned in, "I haven't blown out a birthday candle in over seven years,"

"Then it's time to restart the tradition," she said with an encouraging smile

With a sigh and a slump of his shoulders that let her know he'd accepted his fate he shut his eyes tight for a second and then opened them to reveal more meaning and intensity than she'd ever seen before. Her stomach flipped at the charge that surged between them and then he was leaning forward with pursed lips and the small candle on the screen flickered out.

"Did you remember to make a wish?" she finally managed to choke out,

"Yeah," he said in response and a bolt of heat went down her spine.

With a trembling hand she knew he had to have noticed she closed the candle app and tucked her phone back in her pocket. When she looked back he was peeling off the paper wrapper and holding it out towards her.

"Birthday boy gets the first bite," she insisted,

They shared the muffin, her picking off most of the topping because it was her favorite and him letting her because he knew. When they were done and back in the car heading towards Starling she chanced a look to her left to see a sight she thought she'd never witness.

Oliver Queen, driving a car, looking like he didn't have a care in the world.


End file.
